Many of you crave forward motion in your family. You know what you want your children to be. You want them to be kind, respectful, responsible, intelligent, creative individuals. You want them to be able to succeed when they grow up and leave your home. But sometimes you look at them and you think that it may never happen. Sometimes, between the myriad of parenting books and child-rearing philosophies, you can get lost in the “how to” of raising wonderful kids who become successful adults.
In Reggie Joiner’s Orange Parents post entitled “How to Raise a Jerk,” Joiner encourages parents in a somewhat tongue-in-cheek way about raising kids who become the adults parents want to see them grow into. Here is an excerpt from this post. To read the post in its entirety, go to http://www.orangeparents.org/how-raise-a-jerk/
Some leaders say too many who work hard at building children’s self-esteem are raising kids who will exhibit a lifestyle of entitlement and egotism. Other specialists say those who talk about children being innately bad are raising a generation that feels inferior and insignificant. Every expert has an opinion and it’s hard to know where the line actually is. Many promote their agenda by pushing the opposing opinion to the extreme.
One of the keys to parenting with balance is helping your children develop an attitude of humility. Every child has the potential to grow up and understand why it’s important to “put others first.” There is just a fine line between raising kids who have a healthy self-esteem and kids who are too egotistical. A life of arrogance that goes unchecked can result in a sad and lonely existence for someone, and frankly there are enough self-centered people around. How does someone develop an overinflated sense of self-worth and entitlement?
Here are a few ideas to help you effectively raise a jerk:
- Protect them from the consequences of their own mistakes.
- Make sure you do whatever they can do for themselves.
- Keep them away from anyone who thinks differently than they do.
- Try to give them everything they want.
- Tell them over and over again you just want them to be happy.
- Convince them that they are more special than other kids.
- Always take their side when they get in trouble with their teacher at school.
- Always take their side whenever they are in a conflict with a friend.
- Keep insisting that they are the best player on the team.
- Don’t give them consistent opportunities to help or serve other people.
- Never require them to do chores.
- Reinforce their prejudices about people from different cultures or backgrounds.
- Make your relationship with them more important than your relationship with your spouse.
- Rarely express genuine gratitude to those who help you.
- Teach them to talk more than they listen.
- Never let them hear you say, “I was wrong. I am sorry.”
Maybe you can add a few ideas of your own… on how to raise a jerk.
Whatever parenting philosophy we ascribe to, we all want to see our kids succeed. Whether it’s at school, sports, music or in the character traits they possess, we all want our kids to thrive. And the truth is, a huge part of their success is us. We set the tone for so much of their self-worth, self-understanding and self-image. So, let’s focus on being a part of the steps we want to see them take. Let’s get in the game with them and encourage their steps towards realizing the potential that God has placed inside of them.
It may be out of left field.
It may not be the way you've ever thought.
Consider it.
Jordan
“He who fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge.” Proverbs 14:26b
